Please See Attendant

I'm over the pee in the trash can, the pee on the shower curtain, the pee behind the door, stepping in pee, pee anywhere it can be in the bathroom (except the toilet bowl) and not to mention pee on the seat, of course.



I don't use the kids' bathroom anymore. Ambercutie calls it the "gas station bathroom" because that's how bad it is. It smells like a gas station bathroom in which the door knob is missing and stuffed with toilet paper, there is no soap, the walls are plywood, and you look for hidden cameras. That type.



Where did I go wrong in my toilet training of my boys? I better learn now, because it's only going to get worse. We have four boys (well, three boys and one man) "using" the toilet now, and I still have one to train. I will probably have two more to train if this little one in my womb is a boy (who am I kidding, we KNOW it will be a boy- all of hubby's girl sperm swam away to better families).



I have decided to do another session of toilet training. Potty Training 102. I will stick a sign on the bathroom doors that says, "Please See Attendant." The doors will be locked, so the boys must summon me, the attendant, to unlock them. I will then supervise the visit. The pee better land in the bowl. Put the seat and lid down (ah, how wonderful to not have baby splashing away in the toilet bowl). Flush. Good boy. Now wash your hands! Towel hangs back up. Very nice. I'll put a sticker on your chart.



It should all work out very nicely. Yeah right. Men's restrooms are gross, and I've got one in my very own home. I should just deal with it. Ambercutie and I will go to the nice "women's room" to do our business. Maybe we'll get a little couch or a make-up counter with lights...